Hello
again to reader. In our recent discussions we have pontificated on the
importance of having the appropriate tools necessary for your daily tasks as
part of your EDC (everyday carry, you should know this term by now) system.
Yesterday we discussed how to have the cool confidence of everyone's favorite
British superspy. So today, I thought we would sort of combine the principles
of EDC and the cool confidence and preparedness of the spy and self-defense by
discussing improvised weapons. Not just because we are going to discuss weapons
and violence in today's conversation does not in any way shape or form mean
that I condone or endorse violent acts of any kind. Simply for the sake of
violence, however it is a sad fact of life that occasionally violence is
necessary to protect your own life dear reader, and possibly even the lines of
your loved ones. I firmly believe that everyone has a universal right to defend
themselves from any sort of attack, whether it is a tossup. Character
assassination or physical and that every person should have the appropriate
tools and knowledge to defend themselves when necessary. All of the techniques
and ideas discussed in today's conversation can be used equally well by anyone
regardless of strength (although a little extra muscle is a nice touch) or
martial arts or military training (again a little formal knowledge or
experience is a nice touch). If nothing else by the end of this conversation,
dear reader an understanding of how everyday objects can be used for
self-defense, as well as the psychology necessary to defend yourself. But
again, I hope you never have to use this information...
While
rare, violence often strikes when you least expect it. To counter violent
attacks, you need to be fast and furious. Hand-to-hand combatives are a great tool
to have up your sleeve to quickly dispatch an attacker, but you should always
be looking for force multipliers—tools that make your counterattacks even more
painful, damaging, and effective.
Having
some sort of defensive weapon—be it a firearm, knife, or spray—as part of your EDC is never a
bad idea, but sometimes you don’t have one on you (like when you’re in an area
that prohibits weapons), your attacker has taken or knocked your weapon away, or
you’re in a position that makes drawing your weapon hard to do.
Thankfully,
you’re constantly surrounded by potential weapons that can be quickly accessed
to counter violent attacks. To find and employ them, you just need to hone the
most important weapon in your arsenal—your mind.
In
the right hands, seemingly innocuous, everyday items can be turned into lethal
weapons. Such a transformation just requires violating those objects’
Aristotelian telos—the end for which they were made. If your life is on
the line, I don’t think old Aristotle would mind.
Below
we offer 12 suggestions of everyday objects that can be turned into improvised
weapons. Use this as a jumping off point to think of how other objects could
save your life in a pinch. When you’re out and about in public, practice scanning your
environment and considering what might be used as a weapon if
needed. Think of it as creating mental models for your OODA Loop so you can
win the fight if/when it comes your way.
Pot of Hot Coffee
There’s nothing like the smell
of coffee brewing when you first wake up in the morning. And if
you’re ever attacked while pouring your cup of joe, you can take comfort in the
fact that you’re not just holding something wonderfully fragrant, but a great
weapon as well.
Smash
the pot into your attacker’s face. The blunt force will stun him, the shards of
glass will embed in his kisser, and the scalding hot coffee will make him wish
he stayed home that morning.
Coffee Mug
Same
principle as the coffee pot, just on a smaller scale. Throw the hot coffee from
your mug into the attacker’s face and then proceed to bash him in his fleshy
mug with caffeinated ferocity.
Fire Extinguisher
Fire extinguishers cannot only
save your life in a fire, but in a violent attack as well. Spray the
assailant in the face to temporarily distract him and disrupt his OODA Loop.
While he’s figuring out what’s going on, forcefully bludgeon him in the head
with the extinguisher’s canister.
A Pen
In
the right hands, the pen can indeed be mightier than the sword. A stainless
steel pen like this Zebra number can
be used to stab an assailant. Hold it with an overhand grip and aim for
vulnerable parts of the body like the face and throat. If you really want to up
your writing-implement-as-weapon game, get a true tactical pen like this Smith & Wesson.
Keys
Your
keys can start your car or let you into your house. They can also savagely maim
a violent attacker. Hold the keys in your hand so their points are coming out
between the fingers of your fist. Proceed to punch your attacker in vulnerable
parts of the body like the face and throat.
Locking Carabiner
Carabineers
are an important tool for mountain climbers and have become a go-to key holder
for action-oriented gents. They can also serve as field-expedient
knuckledusters in a pinch. If you want to use a carabiner as an improvised
weapon, make sure it’s big enough to fit around your fist and has a locking
collar (to prevent it from snapping open while you punch a mo’ fo’). While
aluminum carabineers should be able to withstand the impact, for added
strength, use a steel one.
Wristwatch
For
a variation on the above, turn your metal wristwatch into a quick-n-dirty
knucklebuster by holding the bracelet inside your fist, and positioning its
face across your middle knuckles. James Bond uses his Rolex Oyster Perpetual in
this way to knock out a bad guy in On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service. Keep in mind that the impact of this
move will likely break your timepiece. Bond was able to write off the
destruction of his watch to his expense account. You won’t. Of course, losing
your wristwatch will be a small price to pay if it saves your life.
Aluminum Water Bottle
An
aluminum water bottle helps you stay hydrated while avoiding all those
testosterone-lowering xenoestrogens found in plastic bottles. It can also be
used to inflict blunt force trauma on a violent attacker. Ideally, you want the
bottle to have some liquid in it in order to give your makeshift club more heft
and weight. Bash your assailant’s head and face with it.
If
you’ve got some time and if your bottle has a key ring, put your belt through
the ring and tie it off. You’ve got yourself a medieval flail.
Belt
Just
as you should remember that your belt should match the color of your shoes, you
should also remember that it can be used as a weapon in a pinch.
First,
you can use a belt the same way parents used to employ it on their kids back in
the day—for whoopins. (It should be noted dear reader, that I do not condone
child abuse or corporal punishment in any way. Unfortunately, this was the
image that the belt, brought to mind) But unlike its use in dishing out old
fashioned corporal punishment, you’re not going to hold back on your attacker.
Give him the ass whoopin’ of a lifetime. Make sure he gets the buckle end of
the belt. Aim for the face. The advantage of using a belt as an improvised
bludgeon is not only the significant damage it can inflict, but the distance it
allows you to put between you and your attacker.
The
second way you can use a belt as a weapon is as a force multiplier when
strangling an assailant.
Hornet Spray
Hornet spray is pepper spray on steroids. The
former can usually shoot up to 20 feet and provides a much more directed stream
than you find with the latter. What’s more, the chemical used in hornet spray
is much more potent than pepper spray and can potentially permanently blind an
attacker.
Keep
in mind, that due to the possible maiming effects of hornet spray, one should
only use it in life-threatening situations (like during a home invasion). Using
hornet spray as an everyday self-defense tool is illegal in most jurisdictions.
Flashlight
Every man should not only carry
a flashlight, but know how to use it in a tactical
scenario. Not only can it help you find stuff in the dark and act as
a deterrent to would-be attackers, it can also be used as a weapon. Maglite
Heavy Duty D Cell flashlights make for a great makeshift billy club,
and many specialized tactical flashlights end with a serrated or toothed bezel
that can be used as an improvised striking device during an attack. After
you’ve shined the bright light of a high-powered flashlight in your attacker’s
eyes and disoriented him, strike his face with the toothed bezel as hard as you
can. The motion should be like forcefully stamping him with a giant rubber
stamp.
Smartphone
Today’s
smartphones have been designed to take a beating; consequently, they can be
used to give a beating.
Tightly
grasp your smartphone in your hand and slam the edge and corners of it into
vulnerable parts of the body like the eyes, nose, and neck.
You
could also put your phone in a sock or other piece of clothing to make an
improvised sap—a weighted impact weapon.
Whether
you’re at home, the office, or out on the town, everyday objects that could be
turned into weapons are all around you. Should you find yourself facing a
violent threat, be ready to grab something and win the fight.
Excellent advice. I took a self-defense course and the instructor mentioned many of the above things. A woman, especially, walking in a dark parking lot alone to her car should have her keys as you described. We were taught to aim for the eyes, if possible. Otherwise, aim at any vulnerable place that will cause the assailant to release you. There is a good book called The Gift of Fear that everyone should read, especially young women. I'm going to get a copy for my granddaughter before she leaves for college. Thanks for reminding people that we are responsible for our own safety.
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