Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can sometimes be creatively insulting: 50 of the greatest insults and putdowns of the 19th and 20th century

Hello again, dear reader.


It seems these days that (thanks in no small part to our current political climate) that insults are being slung back and forth more and more these days, whether it is a disparaging remark concerning one's political affiliations or political outlook. Or just a direct dig on an individual for whatever reason, that one chooses to justify.


However, it seems to me that the very act of delivering an insult has lost some of its artistic creativity. It used to be, especially in the 19th century that most insults were witty and creative rather than just being merely vulgar and obscene, and so I thought if we live in a world where insults are going to be slung on an hourly and sometimes minute by minute basis. Then we should at least bring back the artistic and creative value of the insult and so dear reader. I have made up a list of, 50 favorite old-time put-downs, with their original definitions pulled directly from dictionaries published more than a century back (with some slight tweaking for added clarity). Some have gone completely extinct from our language, while others are merely endangered; you may have heard them before, but they’re terribly underused. All are worthy of a revival.

So hopefully by the end of today's conversation, dear reader (whether you use them or not), you will have a repertoire of insults and putdowns that are more artistic and creative so that you can trade insults without the vulgarity, while still getting your important point across...

1. Afternoon Farmer

A laggard; a farmer who rises late and is behind in his chores; hence, anyone who loses his opportunities.

2. All Hat and No Cattle

An empty boaster; a man who is all talk and no action.

3. Blunderbuss

A short gun, with a wide bore, for carrying slugs; also, a dumb, blundering fellow.

4. Cad

A mean fellow; a man trying to worm something out of another, either money or information.

5. Chatterbox or Clack-Box

An excessive, incessant talker or chatterer. “Clack-box” is the more derisive variation.

6. Chicken-Hearted

Cowardly, fearful.

7. Chuckle Head

Much the same as “buffle head,” “cabbage head,” “chowder head,” “cod’s head” — all signifying stupidity and weakness of intellect; a fool.

8. Cow-Handed

Awkward.

9. Death’s Head Upon a Mop-Stick

A poor, miserable, emaciated fellow. He looked as pleasant as the pains of death.

10. Duke of Limbs

A tall, awkward fellow.

11. Dunderhead

Blockhead.

12. Fop, Foppish, Foppling, Fop-doodle

A man of small understanding and much ostentation; a pretender; a man fond of show, dress, and flutter; an impertinent: foppery is derived from fop, and signifies the kind of folly which displays itself in dress and manners: to be foppish is to be fantastically and affectedly fine; vain; ostentatious; showy, and ridiculous: foppling is the diminutive of fop, a fool half-grown; a thing that endeavors to attract admiration to its pretty person, its pretty dress, etc. In composition it makes fop-doodle, a fool double-distilled; one that provokes ridicule and contempt, who thrusts himself into danger with no other chance than a sound beating for his pains.

13. Fribble

A trifler, idler, good-for-nothing fellow; silly and superficial.

14. Fussbudget

A nervous, fidgety person.

15. Gadabout

A person who moves or travels restlessly or aimlessly from one social activity or place to another, seeking pleasure; a trapesing gossip; as a housewife seldom seen at home, but very often at her neighbor’s doors.

16. Gasser

Braggart.

17. Gentleman of Four Outs

When a vulgar, blustering fellow asserts that he is a gentleman, the retort generally is, “Yes, a gentleman of four outs,” that is, without wit, without money, without credit, and without manners.

18. Ginger-Snap

A hot-headed person. 

19. Go-Alonger

A simple, easy person, who suffers himself to be made a fool of, and is readily persuaded to any act or undertaking by his associates, who inwardly laugh at his folly.

20. Go By the Ground

A short person, man or woman.

21. Gollumpus

Large, clumsy fellow.

22. Greedy Guts

A covetous or gluttonous person.

23. Grumbletonian

A discontented person; one who is always railing at the times.

24. Heathen Philosopher

One whose buttocks may be seen through his pocket-hole; this saying arose from the old philosophers, many of whom despised the vanity of dress to such a point as often to fall into the opposite extreme.

25. Milksop

A piece of bread soaked in milk; a soft, effeminate, girlish man; one who is devoid of manliness.

26. Minikin

A little man or woman.

27. Mollycoddle

An effeminate man, one who malingers amongst the women.

28. Nigmenog

A very silly fellow.

29. Nincompoop

A fool.

30. Ninnyhammer

A simpleton.

31. Poltroon

An utter coward.

32. Rascal

A rogue or villain.

33. Rattlecap

An unsteady, volatile person.

34. Ruffian

A brutal fellow; a pugilistic bully.

35. Rumbumptious

Pompous, haughty.

36. Sauce-Box

A bold or forward person.

37. Scalawag/Scallywag

A rascal.

38. Seek-Sorrow

One who contrives to give himself vexation; a self-tormentor; a hypochondriac.

39. Scamp

A worthless fellow; a rascal.

40. Scoundrel

A man void of every principle of honor.

41. Shabbaroon

An ill-dressed shabby fellow; also, a mean-spirited person.

42. Skinflint

A miser; a covetous wretch, one who, if possible would take the skin off a flint.

43. Slug-A-Bed

Parasite; one that cannot rise in the morning. 

44. Sneaksby

A mean-spirited fellow; a sneaking, cowardly man.

45. Spoony

Foolish, half-witted, nonsensical; it is usual to call a very prating shallow fellow, a “rank spoon.”

46. Stingbum

A stingy or ungenerous person.

47. Unlicked Cub

A loutish youth who has never been taught manners; from the tradition that a bear’s cub, when brought into the world, has no shape or symmetry until its mother licks it into form with her tongue; ill-trained, uncouth, and rude.

48. White-Livered

Cowardly, malicious.

49. Word Grubbers

Verbal critics; and also, persons who use hard words in common discourse.

50. Wrinkler

A person prone to lying.