40 important life skills, every adult should master (or at least have a working knowledge of) by the time they're 40

Hello again, dear reader. You will probably around her that yesterday we discussed the qualities that every statesman or "person" should strive to have. But after thinking about that post a little more, and having a few conversations with friends about what they thought it meant to be a statesman or person. I came to realize that being a statesman is wonderful. But if you don't have some basic life skills, then it will be extremely difficult to achieve the goal of being a statesman so,Is there a certain set of skills that everyone should have? I think so. Below you’ll discover 40 skills that every adult should master.

1. Learn How to Persuade Others. It’s important to know how to get others to say “yes” to your requests, whether it’s a request for someone to buy your products, a request to your boss for flextime, a request to your neighbor to stop parking so close to the curve, and so on.

By learning the principles that guide human behavior, and applying these principles ethically, you can significantly increase the chances that you’ll get what you want. As the video below explains, the six principles of influence–or persuasion– are the following:

• Reciprocity
• Commitment (and Consistency)
• Social Proof
• Liking
• Authority
• Scarcity

2. Learn Conscious Listening. Conscious listening is making a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but trying to understand the complete message being sent. Julian Treasure—who studies sound and teaches businesses how to best use it—recommends that you apply the acronym RASA, which is the Sanskrit word for juice or essence, in order to help you improve your listening.

RASA stands for the following:

• Receive — which means to pay attention to the person speaking;
• Appreciate–making little noises like “hmm,” “oh,” “okay”;
• Summarize—summarize what you think you heard the other person say; and
• Ask–ask questions afterward to make sure that you understood the other person’s message.

3. Learn How to Communicate Assertively. Communicating assertively means that you make sure you’re calm; you know what you want; you speak directly to the person concerned and not behind their back; and you communicate your needs and–when appropriate–your feelings, in an honest, clear, and direct manner.

Here are two more points about communicating assertively:

• Do not beat around the bush.
• Don’t be confrontational.

One method of communication you can look into is Verbal Judo. Verbal Judo teaches tactical language, which is made up of words shaped to achieve the goal in front of you. That is, you say what you need to say in order to get the job done.

4. Learn How to Make a Good First Impression. It takes someone about three seconds to evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, and how you’re dressed. Whether in your career or in your social life, it’s important to learn how to make a good first impression.

5. Learn How to Network Effectively. Although lots of people hate networking, networking is important to your success. You need a strong network of professional contacts — people you can call on, and who know they can call on you, for advice, information, referrals, and introductions. Become part of the elite 29% that’s connected to everyone else by an average of six mutual friends (six degrees of separation).

6. Learn How to Get Along With Others. It’s amazing how many people reach adulthood without having a clue on how to get along with others. A good place to start is with the advice given by Dale Carnegie in his classic book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. According to Carnegie, here are six ways to get others to like you:

• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Smile.
• Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
• Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

7. Learn How to Remember Names. How do you feel when someone you’ve only met once or twice greets you by your name? It makes you feel good. And it makes you feel warmly toward the other person. However, most people have difficulty remembering names. Remembering people’s names will go a long way toward helping you to get along well with others.

Benjamin Levy, author of Remember Every Name Every Time, recommends that you use the FACE method in order to remember names. “FACE” stands for the following:

• Focus – focus carefully on the person’s face.
• Ask- inquire which version he prefers (“Is it Mike or Michael?”).
• Comment– say something about the name and cross-reference it in your head (“The name of the father in the Brady Bunch was Mike.”)
• Employ — put the name to use–”It’s nice to meet you, Mike”–to drive it home.

8. Learn to Use Body Language to Your Advantage. Studies have shown that the right body language can help you appear more confident, connect with others, get your message across more effectively, and even improve your performance.

In the video below, Amy Joy Cuddy–an American social psychologist known for her research on nonverbal behavior– indicates that you can improve your life by improving your body language.

9. Learn to Read Other People. Being able to read other people accurately can help you in many different situations. Here are some examples:

• Is the salesperson telling you the whole truth about the product he’s selling?
• Is your boss being truthful when she explains why you didn’t get the promotion?
• Is your teenager hiding something important from you?

Joe Navarro is an ex-FBI agent and supervisor who specializes in nonverbal communication or body language. He has authored numerous books on this topic, including, what Every Body is Saying and Louder than Words. In this YouTube video, Navarro shares some of the basic displays of discomfort that let you know that someone is being deceitful.

10. Learn Effective Decision Making Skills. Decision-making is an essential life skill. After all, the decisions we make shape our lives. Fortunately, there are many decision-making models available to help guide you in making the right decisions.  These models include the following:

• Benjamin Franklin’s pro v. con list;
• The WRAP Method developed by the Heath brothers in their book, “Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work”;
• The Six Thinking Hats, which is explained in the video below.

11. Learn Basic Time Management. Without learning basic time management skills you’ll never be able to achieve what you want. Basic time management skills include the following:

• Learning to prioritize.
• Getting organized.
• Creating a schedule.
• Overcoming procrastination.
• Doing one thing at a time (concentration and focus).

12. Learn Goal Setting. Your goals direct your behavior so that you can achieve what you want from life. If you don’t have goals, your life will lack direction. The acronym “SMART” has stuck around for a long time, because it works. Make your goals:

• S – Specific
• M -Measurable
• A – Actionable
• R – Realistic
• T – Time Bound

13. Learn How to Pick Produce. Fruits and vegetables are the mainstay of a healthy diet. For each fruit and vegetable that you eat on a regular basis you need to be able to tell when it’s fresh and ready to be eaten. If you don't mind picked fresh fruit out at the grocery store, I would definitely suggest asking your mom or some other trusted person before resorting to Internet videos, unless of course you are a college student in your philosophy is going to be "can I afford this, do I need to cook it is the first answer is yes. And the second answer is no. then you are probably not going to worry about whether or not your fruits and vegetables are in absolutely perfect condition.

14. Learn How to Make Eggs at Least Two Ways. Every adult needs to be able to keep themselves fed, and–other than serving a bowl of cereal and pouring milk on it– there are few things that are easier to make than eggs.

Have you ever said, “I don’t even know how to boil and egg?” If so, I suggest you ask someone in your family or a close friend. And as a last resort, of coarse, there are plenty of videos available on your favorite social media outlet. Again, this is also one of those exercises that can allow some family or close friend bonding time.

15. Learn How to Roast a Chicken. Roasted chicken is a classic, and everyone should know how to do it. It’s healthy, delicious, complicated enough to impress dinner guests, and yet easy enough that even a kid should be able to make it.

• Step-by-step instructions with images.
• Video on how to roast a chicken.

16. Learn How to Make a Hamburger. Hamburgers are another of those go-to meals that everyone should be able to make. The basis of a hamburger is the ground beef from which you make the “patties.” Although in preparing the patties you can add all sorts of things, salt and pepper will do.

• Step-by-step instructions on how to make a hamburger, with images.
• How To Make The Perfect Hamburger Patty Video

17. Learn How to Roast Vegetables. Roasted vegetables is an easy, versatile side dish. The process of roasting makes vegetables crispy on the outside, and soft and warm on the inside. Best of all, roasting vegetables is simple. Here’s the process:

• Wash the vegetables;
• Chop them up;
• Mix in a little olive oil, garlic and salt; and
• Pop it in the oven.

18. Learn How to Clean Up After Yourself. Many people make the transition from being a teenager to a grownup without acquiring the skill set necessary to take the cleanliness of their own space seriously. Regular cleaning will not only create a sanitary place for you to live in, but it will also make you more efficient, calmer, and happier.

Basic cleaning skills include doing laundry, cleaning a house properly, keeping the house organized and uncluttered, and having a weekly and monthly cleaning routine.

19. Learn How to Sew On a Button. There’s nothing funny about a missing button when you have a job interview in fifteen minutes. Fortunately, the problem can be solved with no more than a needle and a thread. By now, you should know you can always find instructions and/or videos for the best way to sew on a button all over the Internet. However this is one of those things that I feel you should ask your mother or grandmother or grandfather or dad about each for. You go searching the Internet as letting them teach you how to perform this simple task will not only give you practical experience in the best way of doing the job, but also allow them to spend a little time bonding with you.

20. Learn How to Handle a Job Interview. Even if you’re one of those people who dreams of owning their own business, it’s very likely that at some point you’ll have to go out and get yourself a job. And in order to get a job, you need to know how to handle yourself in a job interview.  Here are some of the basics on how to do well during a job interview:

• Arrive on time.
• Research the potential employer beforehand.
• Dress appropriately for the interview.
• Be courteous to everyone.
• Tailor your answers to what the potential employer needs.
• Know how to answer the most common job interview questions.
• Send a thank you note afterwards.

21. Learn How to Complain Effectively. Complaining for the sake of complaining is a waste of time and energy. However, if you complain to the right person, in the right way, complaining is a great way to get what you want. Knowing how to complain effectively is an important skill to have.

One technique you can use in order to complain effectively is using what Guy Winch, author of The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships and Enhance Self-Esteem–calls “The Complaint Sandwich”. There are plenty of videos that provide a proper visual aid for constructing the "complaint sandwich." The best way to find them is of course to type that particular phrase into your favorite search engine.

22. Learn How to Apologize, whether intentionally or not, people hurt each other all the time. Here are some examples of how you may have hurt or offended someone in the past:

• You forgot a loved one’s birthday,
• You said something critical and uncalled for.
• You were rude to someone.

When you hurt someone else, you’re going to have to apologize. In addition, you’re going to have to apologize the right way. Dr. Aaron Lazare–author of the book, “On Apologies”–has spent years studying acts of contrition.

He has found that, to be effective, most apologies need to contain the following elements:

• Full acknowledgment of the offense.
• An explanation.
• Genuine expression of remorse.
• Reparations for damage.

23. Learn How to Jump-Start a Car. You never know when you’re going to need to jump start a dead car battery. It’s very simple, yet people either don’t know which cable goes where, or they tend to forget. It’s a good idea to buy a set of jumper cables and keep them in your car’s trunk.

Jumpstarting your car is another one of those life skills that you can probably ask a family member or wise friend to teach you how to do, if not then plan B. is always watch a few videos on the Internet.

24. Learn How to Change a Tire. Changing a tire is another one of those car-related skills everyone should master. Tires go flat at the most inconvenient times. But, if you know how to change a tire, you can quickly solve the problem and be on your way. Most cars come with a basic a tire changing kit, which typically includes:

• A jack
• A lug wrench with a socket on one end and a pry bar on the other
• A spare tire

This is one of those life skills that I'm sure you can ask your dad or granddad or grandma or mother to demonstrate, because a few generations ago. This skill was something everyone knew how to do sort of like riding a bicycle. But if you can't find anyone that is willing to get dirty and spend some time teaching you how to change a spare tire. Then as usual there are probably plenty of videos available on your favorite social media outlet.

25. Learn How to Parallel Park. There are many people out there who are so bad at parallel parking, that it’s painful to watch them attempt the feat.  If you’re going to be driving in the city, you need to know how to parallel park. Most people learn the basic concept at parallel parking in their driver's ed course. However, very few people have perfected the skill. If you are one of those individuals that is not quite figure out how to properly parallel park, and it is suggested that you find an empty parking lot on a lazy Sunday morning to perfected skill. If you are more of a visual learner, I'm sure there are plenty of training videos available.

26. Learn How to Act if a Cop Pulls You Over. In all likelihood, sooner or later you’ll get pulled over by the police for speeding, running a red light, making an illegal U-Turn, and so on. When that happens, it’s important that you remain calm and respectful, and that you allow the cop to do his or her job.

Once more, there are plenty of free videos available that show you the proper steps and procedures to follow when pulled over by your local law enforcement officer.

27. Learn Touch Typing. Today, learning to type properly is almost as important as knowing how to write and read well. Although learning to touch type will require an initial time investment, it will save you enormous amounts of time in the long run. There are many techniques for learning to touch type; one of these is Typing Instructor Platinum. (Anyone 35 or under most likely already knows how to type at lightning speed. However, it's always good to remind a few of the stragglers out there.)

28. Learn How to Create a Budget. Some people just never learned how to spend money responsibly. That’s where a budget comes in. Creating a budget is about planning, prioritizing, and having the discipline to stick to your budget.

29. Learn How to Protect Your Computer. Everyone who owns a computer needs to know how to protect it. The first step is installing a good antivirus program that will automatically update and scan for infections. You need to learn how to check your antivirus and see that it’s working properly. On a Windows computer, it’s also important that you use a separate program for finding and removing spyware.

30. Learn to Use Google Effectively. If you know how to use Google properly, you can find the answer to just about any question you might have. However, most people don’t know how to use Google to its full potential. Fortunately, many articles have been written on the topic. Read these articles and start doing Google searches like a pro: (I'm talking to you mom, and probably grandma, but not grandma Cindy. The other one)

• A Beginner’s Guide to Performing Better Web Searches
• The Best Way to Tweak Your Searches When Google Doesn’t Give You What You Want
• 12 Quick Steps to Search Google Like An Expert

31. Learn How to Relax. Studies have shown that almost 90% of illnesses can be traced back to stress. People who don’t know how to release stress are prone to all of the following:

• They have trouble sleeping;
• They have weight problems;
• They have trouble concentrating;
• They are easily irritated.

Stress management techniques can include any of the following: reframing the situation, learning to live in the now, laughter yoga, repeating a mantra, creating rituals, having realistic expectations, and so on.

32. Learn How to Use a First Aid Kit. Almost everyone will need to use a first aid kit at some time. Make sure that when the time comes when you’ll need to use it, you know what to do. You should keep a first aid kit in your house, and another one in your car. Here’s a video that will show you how to use a first aid kit:

33. Learn the Heimlich Maneuver. If someone get’s a foreign object stuck in their throat or windpipe, they’ll begin to choke. The National Safety Council lists choking as America’s No. 4 cause of accidental death. In case someone is choking in front of you, apply the Heimlich maneuver. Again, this is one of those things that there are plenty of videos available for on your favorite social media site.

34. Learn to Dance. Every adult should be able to dance reasonably well. You don’t have to look like someone in a music video, but you should be able to blend in on the dance floor and not look too awkward.

35. Learn To Make Beautiful Sounds. By the time you reach adulthood you should know how to make beautiful sounds, whether it is knowing how to sing, or how to play a musical instrument. The easiest thing to do regarding this skill is to learn how to improve your singing.

36. Learn to Create Something Beautiful With Your Hands. There are many beautiful things you can learn to do with your hands, including the following: drawing, creating mandalas, sculpting, and knitting, doing woodwork, making pottery, or making jewelry.

37. Learn to Play One Card Game. Playing cards is one of those social skills everyone needs to have. If you don’t know which game to pick, go with bridge.  After all,  it’s what Warren Buffett plays.

38. Learn A Sport. Pick a sport, any sport, and learn how to practice it reasonably well. An adult needs to know how to keep themselves in reasonably good shape, and one of the best ways to achieve this is by practicing a sport.

39. Learn How to Use a Hammer and a Drill. Everyone should know how to use a hammer and a drill. There are plenty of videos on a live the various social media outlets that will show you the basics of how to use various types of hammers and drills for basic household repairs.

40. Learn How to Look Good in A Photograph. In the digital age it comes in handy to know how to look good in a photograph. It’s not necessarily the most attractive people who look best in photographs, but the ones who know what light to stand in, what angles to work, and how to relax in front of the lens.

Conclusion

In order to live your best life possible, you’ll need to have at least some of the 40 skills described above. Feel free to add or subtract any good, you may not feel comfortable with, or that may not be feasible. For instance, having a physical disability or health problems might mean that you have to modify a sport so you can play it, or that playing a physical sport is out of the question altogether. As long as you strive to master as many of the above mentioned skills as possible, then your confidence and quality of life will grow with every new skill you master and confidence in the quality of life are after all, the most important part of this exercise.

As always thanks for listening, and there will be more to come soon guaranteed.