Hello again, dear
reader. During yesterday's conversation, we discussed how to develop a
blueprint to help you dear reader with a rich and full, productive life, while
still achieving all of your life goals in five-year increments. After we had
that conversation dear reader, I realized that everything we've been talking
about so far could be used to help you develop your life blueprint. Everything
from learning Morse code to what EDC items should always be in your car to how
to establish and memorable presence and make a good first impression. And then
I realized that I forgot to mention one of the most important steps in human
interaction that you will have to take regardless of what your life blueprint
maps out for you and that is the act of shaking hands. Now I know, dear reader
that this may sound extraordinarily simple or even weird or geeky, but man
woman or otherwise. A person's handshake, says a lot about who they are, and
goes a long way to making a good first impression and establishing a solid rapport
with the person within, I would say 20 to 30 seconds of meeting someone so for
today's discussion dear reader. I thought we would pontificate on "the Art
of the handshake" and how to use it to your advantage dear reader to make
a good first impression...
Hypothetically dear
reader you're in law school right now and as a future attorney, you will be shaking
lots of hands: clients, potential clients, other attorneys, and judges. During
that brief contact with that person, they’re going to form opinions of you.
Your handshake could give them the impression that you're a warm person or cold
and aloof.
Maybe your handshake indicates
that you're an overbearing jerk or a wimpy McWimpsalot. We want a handshake
that creates a favorable impression. We’re going to talk about how to do that.
There are three keys to
a successful handshake:
- How you do it
- When you do it
- Where you do it
How you do it
- Make sure your handshake is firm, not a dead fish
grip. However, you don’t want to crush the other person’s hand.
- Make sure you don’t have food or grease on your
hands. You want the person to remember you, not what you ate.
- If your hands are sweaty, give them a quick
nonchalant wipe on your pants.
- When you offer your hand, look the person in the eye
and smile.
When you do it
Handshakes involve
timing. Many people avoid offering handshakes because they’re afraid of being
left hanging. If you’re not sure if someone will notice your offer, extend the
handshake anyways. Most of the time people will notice your handshake offer and
quickly grasp your hand.
Be aware of different
social customs. Most cultures have different customs for shaking hands. Some
find it inappropriate for a man to shake a woman’s hand and some cultures find
shaking hands completely unacceptable. Be sensitive to these situations.
What if you’re left
hanging?
I hate when this
happens. I always feel dumb, especially when everyone but the person with whom
you were trying to shake hands saw the rejection. Don’t feel embarrassed. The
problem isn’t that the other person doesn’t think you’re important, you’re
timing was just off.
- Don’t offer a handshake if the other person is
engrossed in conversation with someone else.
- Don’t approach someone from the side with your
extended hand. It’s hard to see.
- Do audibly greet the person first to get their
attention and then
offer your hand.
Where To Do It
Handshakes are good everywhere.
Make sure to shake plenty of hands when you go to a social gathering. Make sure
to shake the hosts’ hand when arriving and leaving
the gathering.
As
always, dear reader, thanks for listening and there will be more to come soon.
Hello again dear
reader. We have recently been talking a lot about individual skills and mental
and physical, and how they can be uses to improve your quality of life. In many
different ways dear reader, which of course got me interested in and thinking
about how these skills can best be used to help me achieve the best quality of
life possible. This brought them to me into thinking about how I could achieve
all of my individual goals to the best of my ability in life. I then started
thinking of an old maxim of friend of mine used to say every time he would
start a new endeavor, which was "plan the work. Work the plan." And
as I continued to think about this trusty truism I started thinking about
people who make plans. I thought about explorers, and cartographers and
architects, and that's when I started thinking about how blueprints are built
by architects, and then I realized I should think of my life and my goals were
at least a plan for my life and my goals as a blueprint and design each part of
my life and the goals pertaining to that specific part in sections. Just like
an architect would design a blueprint for a skyscraper. And before you know it,
I had laid out what I think is a pretty good. "Life blueprint" that I
think will help me become a better architect of my own existence. Now, this
blueprint to dear reader is not "my" specifically detailed life
blueprint. This is just an example I created to be more reader friendly to a
wider audience, however the steps. Categories and process is still the same
goal of this research has been compiled through significant research and
multiple cups of coffee. Over the three-day weekend, and it may not be perfect,
but it's the best I could come up with given my understanding of human nature
Society standards and desires. And of course as always, dear reader, there is
an occasional use of the word "man" or "manly" this does
not mean of course that this "life blueprint." Cannot be used by
anyone, it is simply a framework on which you can hang your own ideas,
inspiration's goals and dreams, dear reader. So hopefully by the end of today's
conversation, you'll be well on your way to establishing your own "life
blueprint"...
The craftsman is an
archetype of manliness that has been with us for millennia. We admire his
independence, his work ethic, and his unwavering sense of purpose. We envy the
way he personally shapes and creates the fruits of his labor.
While not many of us
will ever make a living hammering horseshoes or chiseling wood, we are all
artisans in a way, because we are all charged with crafting our own lives.
Each man/person must take an active role in shaping his future. He must gain
entry to the Guild of Greatness.
Over the next three
weeks, we’ll be offering a series of articles on how to craft a more remarkable
life. Like all good craftsmen, we need a blueprint to guide our work, a shop
where we can do our work, and tools to help us accomplish our work. We’ll be
taking a look at how these three facets of a traditional craftsman’s vocation
can be applied by every man to the task of crafting a satisfying life.
First up: the blueprint.
Creating a
Blueprint for Your Life
Are you living the life
you want or have you shoulded all over yourself for
years and feel as though you’re simply going through the motions as you try to
gain the approval of others? Being a mature man means knowing what you stand
for and where you’re going in life. A man always has a
plan, especially for something as important as his life.
But many men today just
drift along and let life happen to them. Maybe you’re one of them. I know I’ve
done lots of drifting in my life, and I always feel like crap when I do. It’s
an angsty feeling that drives you bonkers because you feel this strong
drive to live with more purpose, but you don’t even know what that purpose is,
which leads to an existential funk and the desire to eat several Supersonic
Cheeseburgers with jalapenos. At least that’s how it works for me. Have
you ever experienced that restless, anxious
feeling and weren’t sure what to do about it?
Well, today we’re going
to stop that angsty feeling in its tracks. Today we’re going to start crafting
the life we want to live.
Like any good
craftsman, we need a solid blueprint to guide us. But instead of creating a
blueprint for a cedar chest, we’ll be drafting a blueprint for our life. Below
I’ve laid out the steps that I’ve personally used to hash out a life plan. It’s
a mash-up of ideas from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits
of Highly Effective People and Brian Tracy’s book Goals!.
This is what has worked for me, and it’s helped other people I’ve
shared it with. I’d encourage you to read other materials on goal setting and
experiment with different formats to find something that’s comfortable for you.
With that said, let’s
bust out our t-squares and protractors and get to drafting.
Time and Tools
Needed
Drafting a blueprint
for your life is a huge endeavor. It’s not something you should expect to
complete in just an hour. We’ll be doing a lot of meditating, writing, and soul
searching, which is surprisingly difficult and draining work. Ideally, you
should dedicate a weekend to drafting your life’s blueprint. Go on a camping
trip, lock yourself in your man cave, or just
check into a hotel that offers hot continental breakfasts (mmmm…am I
the only one who loves continental breakfasts?) and hash out your blueprint.
If it’s not possible to
do it in one fell swoop, then feel free to break the process up over a couple
of days.
Where should you draw
up your life’s blueprint? It just comes down to personal preference. If you’re
a digital guy, do it in a word document. Personally, I prefer using
my leather-bound journal and a nice pen to write up my life plan. I
feel more engaged with the process, and I feel like I think better with pen and
paper than I do with a keyboard. Some studies actually support
the idea that writing with pen and paper increases cognition.
But you don’t have to
use a fancy journal and pen. A spiral notebook and a cheap Bic pen will do the
trick. Just make sure you write this stuff down.
Alright, we’ve got our
tools. Let’s start with the first step in drawing up a blueprint for a manlier
life.
Define and
Prioritize Your Roles as a Man/individual person
Every man wears
different hats throughout his life and even during a single day. We take on the
roles of husband/boyfriend, father, friend, businessman, volunteer, citizen, and
employee and so on.
To become a complete
and well-rounded man, we need to thrive in each of our roles. So much of our
happiness as men depends on our success in our various roles in life. But
before you can figure out how to excel in each aspect of your life, you first
need to clearly define your roles as a man. Sit down with your pen and journal
and really think about the roles you take on each day. Write down as many of
them as come to your mind. Don’t hold back.
Here’s a list to help
get you started:
- Husband/Boyfriend
- Father
- Son
- Brother
- Friend
- Grandson
- Manager
- Employee
- Leader
- Disciple
- Artist
- Student
- Photographer
- Writer
- Soldier
- Landlord
- Coach
- Teacher
- Citizen
- Mentor
- Mentee
Finished? Good for you,
let's move on.
A great deal of
stress and angst in a man’s life occurs because he doesn’t spend enough time
nurturing and growing in the roles that are most important to him. A man might consider himself
an entrepreneur even though he works a day job at a corporation.
Working on projects that he’s passionate about fills him with a level of manly
vitality he doesn’t feel doing anything else. He might even have hopes of one
day hustling his side job
into a full-time gig. But whenever there’s a choice between working on his
business and going out with his friends, this man consistently chooses his
friends. Consequently, his small biz never goes anywhere and he ends up bitter,
resentful, and depressed.
To help guide our long
term goals and even our daily choices as men, we need to put down in ink what
roles are most important to us. Look at your list and start prioritizing your
roles in order of most important to least important.
You might be looking at
your list of roles and thinking, “Boy! I’ve got a boat load of roles to
prioritize!” Being involved in lots of people’s lives is a good thing, but too
much of even a good thing can lead to burn out. Are there some roles that are
causing you a lot of unneeded stress? Perhaps you have taken on a few roles
that don’t provide any fulfillment and take away time from the roles that are
truly important to you. You might then consider pruning those “dead” roles away
to strengthen your core responsibilities. This can be tough to do, especially
if what you’re eliminating is a “good” thing. But you don’t want the
good to become the enemy of the best.
With your prioritized
list, you can now start making better choices that are more in line with what
you really value. This list will especially come in handy when you find
yourself in situations where you have roles with competing demands. For
example, let’s say you’re asked to come into work on the weekend. It’s not
mandatory, but it would definitely look good and help with your career
advancement. But that weekend your daughter has a soccer game. Which do you
choose? Well, if you put your role as a father over your role as an employee,
than you’d go to your daughter’s soccer game.
Now a few caveats with
your prioritized list of roles. First, this isn’t a static list. The order of
your roles will change during the different seasons of your life.
So take a regular personal inventory and make adjustments when needed.
Second, sometimes your
roles will have conflicting demands. Try to find ways to make both work at the
same time. You might have to bring some reports to your son’s basketball game
and work on them during timeouts and half-time. It’s not ideal, but it’s a good
compromise.
Define Your
Purpose for Each Role
Now that we’ve defined
our roles, it’s time to establish our purpose for each of them. Without a
strong sense of purpose, we feel lost and shiftless. Roles with clearly defined
purposes enable us to make decisions that will enrich rather
than impoverish us.
How will we establish
our different purposes? Stephen Covey suggests imagining your own funeral. A
bit macabre, yes, but it’s a very effective exercise. Imagine the people in
attendance. Who will be there? Many in attendance will probably be the people
you interact with in your various roles as a man: your wife, your children,
your friends, your boss, your co-workers, your clients, and maybe even your dog.
What would each of them
say about you? Which of your contributions will they mention in their eulogy to you? What
memories of you will they share? How do you want them to remember you?
Now take a piece of
paper and write out each one of your roles in a nice column. Leave some space
in-between so you can write a paragraph or two underneath each role.
Underneath each role, write out what you want the people you affect in
that role to say about you when you’re dead. Be as idealistic as you want. For
example, underneath my Husband role I’d write something like this:
I want Kate to remember
me as a caring, patient, and loving husband. I want her to say that I made her
laugh each and every day. I want her to remember all the fun adventures we went
on together and those quiet moments when we just hung out on the couch or took
a walk. I want her to remember me as her rock during all the hard times.
I want to her to say that I helped make her life magical.
Take as much time as
you need. Really ponder about what you’d want the different people in your life
to say about you.
If there’s a role you
currently don’t have, but want to have one day, write it down and establish a
purpose for it. Let’s say you’re single, but you’re looking to start a
relationship in the future–write down “husband/boyfriend” and what you want you’re
someday significant other to say about you at your funeral. Then start living
your life in align with those standards and get out there and start looking for
that lucky lady.
Define Goals
For Yourself
Our roles as men are
often others focused, but in order for us to serve others effectively, we need
to be on top of our game personally. That’s why we need to also establish goals
and purposes that focus on ourselves and our progress as men.
Make these BIG long
term goals; goals that really stretch you. And make sure they’re YOUR goals,
not the goals that you think you should have. (Remember, don’t should on
yourself!) If you want to travel the world with nothing but a backpack,
that’s great. But if you’re more of a homebody and would be happier advancing
in your current career without having to re-locate, that’s fine, too.
Below I’ve listed some
broad areas in which a man could set goals for improvement. Go crazy when
brainstorming your goals. Just sit down with pen and paper and write down any
and all of the things you’ve ever wanted to accomplish. We’ll whittle the list
down later.
- Health
- Career/Vocation
- Financial
- Intellectual
- Spiritual
- Travel
- Social
- Lifestyle/Where You Live
Alright, so by now you
should have a pretty hefty bucket list of stuff
you want to accomplish in life. Now, under each broad category you’ve selected,
narrow your goals down to the five that you will focus on for the next five
years. Remember, these are big goals like paying off your debt or starting your
business or publishing a book.
The stuff you’ve
written down is probably really broad like “Lose weight” or “Travel the world.”
These aren’t the most inspiring or useful goals. As every corporate
motivational speaker has pontificated: Vague goals produce vague results. Yeah,
it’s cliche, but it’s true.
Take any vague goals
you might have and re-write them so that they’re laser specific. Our goals need
to be measurable and have a deadline for completion. If you want to lose
weight, state how much you want to lose and the date you want to lose it by. If
you want to pay off your debt, state the exact amount you have to pay off and
the date you’ll pay it by.
And I don’t know how
much of this is New Age/The Secret bull crap, but according
to neuro-linguist programming, stating your goals in the present tense has
more of an impact on your brain than stating goals in the future tense. I don’t
know. If it helps, awesome. If not, no loss.
Here are some example
goals: (these are entirely made up of course. As I'm not capable of doing
quotes were losing 175 pounds, because I don't even weigh 175)
- On or before June 6, 2011, I weigh 175 pounds.
- On August 31, 2011 or sooner, I can perform 25
pull-ups.
- I have paid off $30,000 worth of debt on December 31,
2015 or sooner.
- I run my own blacksmithing business by June 30, 2014.
- I live in Vermont in a small cabin and make $60,000 a
year selling homemade maple syrup and moose skin rugs by April
1, 2015.
Define Your
Current Reality
Before we get to where
we want to go, we need to know where we’re at right now. Take a look at each
one of your roles and the life areas where you’ve established personal goals.
Write down your current reality in regards to each one. Be brutally honest with
yourself. Don’t sugar coat things. It won’t do you any good.
.
Your descriptions of
your current reality don’t need to be well-organized. It could be just a series
of bullet points or a stream of consciousness paragraph. So long as you
don’t pull any punches, you’re golden.
Establish
Specific Action Steps
With our current
reality analyzed, we’re now going to set some very specific actions
to fulfill our purposes and goals.
Create a heading for
“Action Steps,” and under it, write out all your roles and your personal goals.
Underneath each role and goal, write down five specific actions you’re going to
start taking today to achieve your purposes.
Repeat with each role
and personal goal.
Review
Frequently. Amend When Necessary.
Congratulations! You’ve
drafted a blueprint for your life.
You should be feeling
less anxious and restless and more grounded and centered.
But crafting the life
that you want isn’t a onetime thing, it’s a lifelong process. Just as master
craftsmen review their blueprint frequently, you should review your life’s
blueprint on a regular basis. Frequent review will help keep you on track with
your goals and purposes. I like to review my blueprint at least once a month.
Some people do it quarterly, while others do it weekly. Find a schedule that
works for you.
And just as master
craftsmen change their blueprints in the middle of projects because they
encounter unforeseen issues, so should you amend your life plan when
necessary. Again, your roles as a man will change throughout your life; you’ll
achieve goals and will need to establish new ones; goals that were important
two years ago, stop being so important anymore. Perhaps you can set up a yearly
ritual where you do a deep review of your blueprint and make changes to it for
the coming year.
As
always, your reader, thanks for listing, and there will be more to come soon.
Hello again, dear
reader. In yesterdays conversations we pontificated on how number sequences or
codes could be used to help you memorize anything you wished dear reader. While
doing the research for yesterday's discussion, I started thinking about other
useful codes that everyone should know. And of course the first thing that
popped into my head was Morse code. Now I know those dots and dashes might seem
a little out dated by today's technological standards. But according to every
apocalyptic science-fiction novel, I have ever read Morse code will still be
able to be used. Even when the power grid shuts down during the zombie
apocalypse, so I thought it might be a good skill to add to your mental EDC
system dear reader. Morse code isn't just simply a last resort during the
zombie apocalypse. It can also be used with a walkie-talkie. When the
microphone is broken to send messages in an emergency is also still a mandatory
bit of knowledge for international ham radio operators, or as a way to send
secret messages back and forth with your friends by using your smart phone
keypad (if you turn the keypad noise feature on a course) I have even heard
stories (from reliable sources) that during World War II and Vietnam. Soldiers
even used zippo lighters to send Morse code messages. By opening and closing
the lid to make the famous clicking sound, and thereby send a message. So
hopefully dear reader, by the end of today's conversation, you will be well on
your way to sending Morse code messages. Or if nothing else, you will at least
have an understanding and appreciation for the history of such a brilliant and
simplistic communication system...
Before cell phones even
before telephones, people communicated through Morse code. Despite being a
technology that is over 160 years old, it’s still used today among amateur
radio users and on some ships. If you were in Boy Scouts, you might have messed
around with Morse code or maybe you had a grandpa who used it on his ham radio.
While you might not find any particular use for Morse code in your daily life,
learning Morse is a fun and engaging hobby you can share with gramps and an
interesting man skill to possess.
The History of Morse
code
Morse code was invented
by Samuel F. B. Morse in the 1830s. He began work on the electric telegraph in
1832, developed a practical system in 1844, and patented his technology in
1849. The code that Morse developed for use with his system went through a few
transformations before arriving at the code we’re familiar with today.
Initially, Morse code only transmitted numbers. The transmission’s receiver
would then have to use a dictionary to translate the numbers into words. But
that proved to be tedious. Soon the code was expanded to include letters and
even punctuation.
In 1844, Morse appeared
before Congress to show off his little machine. The first public message was
transmitted on May 24, 1844. It was “What God hath wrought.”
The original telegraph
system had an apparatus on the receiving end that spat out a string of paper
with indentations on it. Short indentations were called “dots” and the longer
ones “dashes.” As telegraph users became more proficient with the code, they
soon dispensed with the paper tape and deciphered code by year. Self made
tycoon Andrew Carnegie worked as a telegraph operator as a boy. He set himself
apart by learning to decipher Morse code by ear.
Ten years after the
first telegraph line opened in 1844, over 23,000 miles of line crossed the
country. The telegraph and Morse code had a profound effect on the development
of the American West. Railroad companies used it to communicate between their
stations and telegraph companies began to pop up everywhere, shortening the
amount of time needed to communicate across the country.
During this period,
European countries had developed their own system of Morse code. The code used
in America was called American Morse code or often Railroad Morse code. The
code used in Europe was called Continental Morse code.
In the 1890’s radio
communication was invented and Morse code was used for transmitting messages at
sea. As radio frequencies got longer and longer, international communication
soon became possible and a need for an international standard code developed.
In 1912, the International Morse code was adopted for all international
communication. However, many railroads and telegraph companies continued using
Railroad Morse code because it could be sent faster. Today, American Morse code
is nearly extinct. A few amateur radio users and Civil War re-enactors still
keep it alive.
Morse code became
extremely important in maritime shipping and aviation. Pilots were required to
know how to communicate using Morse code up until the 1990s.
Today Morse code is
primarily used among amateur radio users. In fact, up until 2007, if you wanted
to get your amateur radio license in America, you had to pass a Morse code
proficiency test.
Learning Morse code
Learning Morse code is
like learning any language. You have to practice, practice, practice. We’ve
brought together some resources to help you get started on the path to becoming
a master telegraph operator. Who knows? Maybe you can start your own telegraph
shop.
Get familiar
with the code.
The first thing you’ll need to do is get familiar with what the alphabet looks
like in Morse code. Below I’ve included the International Morse code alphabet. So you can, study it during your free time.
Morse code alphabet is rather simple, each of the letters A to Z and 0 to 9 have their own unique dot-dash code.
For our Steampunk and
Civil War re-enactor friends, we’ve also included the American Rail Road Code.
Start listening
to Morse code. You’re
going to have to actually listen to Morse code if you ever want to learn it.
Head over to learnmorsecode.com
and download some MP3s of some code. Listen to it and see if you can decipher
any letters.
Use this nifty
chart. Print off this dichotomic search
tree to help you decipher code. Start off where it says “start.”
Every time you hear a dit (or short sound) you move down and to the left. Every
time you hear a dah (or long sound) you move down and to the right. Learnmorsecode.com has a dichotomic chart as well,
except it’s the reverse of this one. (You go left on dah, right on dit). Use
whichever one is comfortable for you.
Practice with
this app. This is keen-o-reeno online app
that lets you input any text and it will play it back in Morse code. Practice
with it for 10 minutes a day and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a Morse
code wiz.
You can also try out “The Mill.” It’s a
downlodable app that not only allows you to use International Morse code, but
also American Morse code.
Tips to make
Morse code memorization easier
Count the
number characters.
Knowing the number of characters in each letter can help you narrow down your
possibilities when you receive a message.
T, E= 1 character each
A, I, M,N= 2 characters
D, G, K, O, R, S, U, W=
3 characters
B, C, F, H, J, L, P, Q,
V, X, Y, Z= 4 characters each
Reverse letters. Some
letters are the reverse of each other in Morse code. For example “a” is “._”
while “n” is “_.”
Here are the rest of the
letters that are the reverse of each other:
a & n d & u g
& w b & v f & l q & y
As
always, dear reader, thanks for listening, and there will be more to come soon
